memories

Tonight I put Abby down for bed and sat outside for a few minutes with Sophie. Today was a ridiculously hot day, but tonight turned out to be beautiful. Clear skies. Still warm, but bearable. The warm breeze felt great and as I closed my eyes to take it in I was flooded with a pre-baby memory. (Most days I have a hard time remembering life before Abby. Tonight I was glad I did.)

I remember being very pregnant. Close to nine months. I was wearing a sports bra and comfy pants. (The staple of my lounging pregnancy attire.) Chris a t-shirt and khaki shorts. There was nothing special about that particular evening, except that we were home with nothing to do but spend time together. I remember sitting on the patio. Holding hands. Watching the puppy run through the yard. Watching the stars. I remember that same warm breeze hitting my face.

I don't think I realized that that evening would have any profound impact on me. I don't even remember exactly what we talked about. What I do remember is being overcome by a feeling that I was in exactly the right place at exactly the right time with exactly the right person. I remember wondering if I could ever be happier than I was in that moment. I remember feeling so thankful that I was starting a family with this man that I loved more than anything in the world.

What a journey we have been on since then. Starting our family has done incredible things for our relationship. It has also put a strain on our relationship that is hard to explain. I need to remember to let myself slow down more often. Long enough to soak in a refreshing breeze. Long enough to remember that feeling. Long enough to fall in love all over again with my incredible husband.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

To my sweet baby girl,

Happy Birthday, Boo Boo! It is hard to believe that you are a year old. It truly feels like yesterday when we found out you were coming, when we heard your heartbeat for the first time, when we first felt you kick, when you FINALLY decided to come out, when we introduced you to Sophie for the first time... I could go on forever because the past year has been a string of fabulous moments. You have made us so very happy. And as much as I am going to miss you being a baby, I am so excited to watch you grow into the sweet little girl you are becoming.

You had a wonderful birthday! We spent a week in Chicago and you were spoiled absolutely rotten. We went to the zoo. (You loved all the animals especially the fish and big cats, but your favorite animal was the polar bear. You thought he was SO funny!) On your actual birthday Grammy made you lasagna, Mommy made you a cupcake cake, and you spent your evening dancing on the table and opening presents. For your party we had everyone over to your Nana's house for a huge celebration. Complete with help in the kitchen, caviar dip, more cupcakes than you could eat in a year, and plenty of people to play with. A party fit for a princess, and you had a great time. Your favorite present was a musical Noah's Ark from Mommy's friend Lindsay.

You are loving life as a big girl. You started walking at about 10.5 months and have not stopped moving since. Seriously. You are the busiest baby I have ever met. I treasure the moments in between your exploration when you stop for a quick hug and kiss...and then you are off again!

Your new obsession is animals. All kinds really, but dogs are your favorite. Daddy likes to play puppy videos for you on You Tube. You get all kinds of excited, shaking and screaming at the screen. You even enjoy woofing back at them :) You also have an incredible talent for spotting dogs and other animals, real or on packages, from a mile away. But don't be fooled, Sophie is still your favorite and remains the ultimate source of entertainment.

You still love music and dancing. Someone told me the other day that they were certain you were going to be a dancer when you grow up because you are so light on your feet and didn't clomp around like most toddlers. You can thank your Daddy for this. And when your friends make fun of you when you are older for doing the "jumpy" dance, please remember that your uncoordinated Mama loves you more than anything.

Your are still a little Diva. You are really good at temper tantrums, excellent at high pitched screaming, and generally well versed in how to get everything you could ever need/want from Mommy and Daddy. Please don't misunderstand. While your goal is to be terribly angry you mostly come off as adorable. And while I am excited for this phase to pass, I hope you never lose that passion and fire.

You still only have two bottom teeth. And two top ones that are desperately trying to make their way in. This in no way stops you from enjoying food-anything and everything. Still nothing green, but other than that you are a little garbage disposal. You would never guess it though- you are only 20.5 pounds...but much taller than most kiddos your age. You have the most beautiful tall and slender body with just the slightest Buddha belly- a baby requirement. You have much more hair now and Mommy loves to put bows in your hair. You mostly love the bows, but much prefer them in your mouth.

You will learn very quickly as you grow older that Mommy cries at almost everything. Just the thought of you is enough to get me going. I am so proud of you. I am so in love with you. I am so happy to be your Mommy.



And even though I won't be able to always give you the best of everything, I hope that I can give you the security in knowing that you are deeply loved. Not just by Mommy and Daddy. But by so many. And not just by friends and family, but by an awesome God who is with you wherever you go. I hope that I can instill a confidence in you that will allow you to grow into the passionate, beautiful, and intelligent girl you are already becoming. I hope I can give you the peace to wake up every morning remembering that you are the one and only ever you, that you are special, and loved, and appreciated. And that you have given us an incredible gift by just being you!

I love you Tooty Boot!

Mommy